My Philosophy

I believe that most people are doing the best they can in their lives: with their family, with their friends, at work and at home. Sometimes though, parts of us get stuck in patterns of thought or behaviour that are debilitating or damaging. But, if you look closely, with compassion and curiosity, it turns out that those parts of you that might seem so negative, actually have positive intentions. They’re trying their best to do a difficult job; they’re trying to help you.

For example, depression is a response to an unmet need for love and connection, purpose and support. It is trying to help you get those things, by creating symptoms that are visible to other people, asking them for help. Anxiety is a warning that aims to protect you from possible hurt and suffering in the future. Trauma freezes a part of you in the time when you were hurt, not to cause more suffering, but to teach you and remind you about the time you were hurt, so that maybe you can avoid having it happen again. Anger tells you that a boundary has been crossed, or that something unfair has occurred, reminding you that you need to protect yourself. Stress is a response to feeling overwhelmed, trying to tell you that you might occasionally have to say no. An overly nasty internal critic is not trying to make you feel bad, instead it is trying to put you in the best position to succeed, and it just doesn’t know how else to get your attention.

In this framing of mental health, there are no bad parts. No bad symptoms. All of them are just trying their best to protect you. All of them are trying to give you the information you need to accomplish the things you want. All of them are trying to help - even if it doesn’t always look that way.

Our work together can help you gain clarity about what your parts and symptoms are trying to tell you. It can help you change the way you interact with these parts and change the way they interact with you and with each other. Rather than being driven by these parts or by your symptoms, our work can help you become the leader of your mind and your life. Our work can help you understand and accept who you are, and it is then, that you will be able to change.